I will never forget a conversation with the late Ace Greenberg, CEO of Bear Stearns.
We were discussing Argentina’s default. He asked me seemingly basic questions until he truly understood. He was completely comfortable not knowing and learning from someone junior and younger. That moment shaped my understanding of confidence.
My clients – even those operating at the highest levels of performance – often find it both refreshing and empowering to lean into confidence in exactly this way.
Confidence isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about being comfortable with what you know — and what you don’t. It’s about tolerating mistakes, showing vulnerability, and trusting your ability to recover and improve.
That resilience is the foundation of growth.
The opposite of confidence isn’t incompetence — it’s avoidance. We all experience moments of self-doubt. What matters is precision: Where does confidence break down? In which situations? Around which skills?
“Lack of confidence” is rarely global — it’s almost always contextual. More accurately, it’s a “not yet” state.
Popular wisdom has is that confidence grows through action. However, but action is most effective when preceded by thought and followed by structured reflection. This is where coaching becomes leverage.
What works:
- Identifying and challenging limiting thoughts
- Using gradual exposure through small, achievable actions
- Celebrating progress, not just outcomes
- Noticing and quieting critical self-talk
- Using visualization, preparation, and planning
You don’t need proof — you need reps. But as Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, reps only work if you’re training the right muscles.
That’s where coaching helps